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TWO MORE couples fit into the fantastic Couples retreat by a lake in Finland 7-13 August!

Are you a Judge, Clown, Hero or Helper?

Is there any part of yourself that you wish would go away?

What are the things you would rather keep in the shadows?
What you don’t want others to see about you.

The shadow parts could be for example:

Rule maker
Caregiver / People pleaser
Inner Critic / Judge
Wounded Healer

just to name a few.

A lot of the work of psychiatrist Carl Jung and Jungian psychology is working a lot with Jungian archetypes which are useful in my opinion when looking at our shadows.

We all have parts we are embarrassed or ashamed about or we don’t want to show other people. We might still choose to show these parts to people we trust or work on them in therapy or workshops.

What comes to you when you hear the word shadow part?

My shadow part is anxious or helpless, in some classifications also called A Child. I am in general pretty capable and get shit done and there’s also a side of me that wants others to manage things and take care of me.

Sometimes I want to be helpless and taken care of.
Ugh. Even writing that I cringe a little.

I also recognize Martyr in me. This shows up when I play the victim and feel sorry for myself.
Another part I have is a Perfectionist or Achiever, this one is mainly not so hidden and there’s times when I hide how much achieving stuff is driving me.

I just asked Pete what shadow part he thinks has been big for him.
He said the Comparing part which says:
“You are stupid. You are going to fail. You don’t know how to do it”.

He says at some point he realized it’s more his older brother’s voice in his head telling he’s no good than actually his own talk.

I was also curious:
“What has helped out to overcome it?”

Talking about it over and over again in groups“, Pete said.

I like that and do think bringing what we don’t want to share from shadows to light has a great power. Instead of my little dirty secret my shadow becomes something that many people know about.

We tend to say: “shame breeds in shadows“. And it also disappears in light.
Whatever we talk about most times has far less power on us.

I was reading lists of different archetypes – the types which are mainly our shadows and at times not so much in shadows. I find it fascinating! I don’t know this coach myself and found his lists useful.
Check it out here

What shadow parts do you recognize in yourself?
When do they show up?

How have you worked with them?

Tuulia (& Pete)

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We are closing the signs ups for Honesty Europe’s Practitioner Program on 11th December!

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