How are you with talking about money? Do you believe that you do not deserve to have more money?Do you overspend?Do you stay stingy, spend very little & have a hard time enjoying your money? Do you struggle asking for…
As you might know, Pete and I love going to movies – especially in Amsterdam where we have several movie theaters within a 7 minute bike ride. And in Parkano there is an old renovated movie theater Sirius – I…
I just returned back to the forest and Syvilla after great time in La Palma with the 8-Day Intensive and hiking too followed by sunny days in Amsterdam and a wonderful weekend workshop. I have written a few times about…
Are you good at saying "no"? Do you feel guilty when you say no to someone? Or are you one of those (few) people who find "no" far easier than yes? I think "no" is a very powerful – and…
Regards from La Palma where we just finished an amazing 8-Day intensive!(we love this villa, ocean scenery and heated pool so much that we already booked it for 2026 too!) Right now Pete and I are just taking a few…
sunny regards from the beautiful island of La Palma! Pete and I arrived on Saturday here in the isla bonita as they call La Palma – the beautiful island. La Palma is beautiful indeed.This is the most green and lush…
It only takes a reminder to breathe,a moment to be still, and just like that,something in me settles, softens, makesspace for imperfection. The harsh voiceof judgment drops to a whisper and Iremember again that life isn’t a relayrace; that we…
"Wait! Where is the food bag?"Made it on time.I was standing in the train entrance.And then: I did not see my bright green bag anywhere. I had rushed to the train in Parkano and got in with my heavy grey backpack, ready…
I love talking about Relationship purposes (having a vision of what the purpose of our relationship is) and Relationship agreements.I find the drafting, talking, agreeing and writing final wording down a connecting and clarifying experience. This process helps me to feel safe and grounded…
I love (and sometimes hate!) working with couples. In my experience too many couples start to work on their issues only when shit really hits the fan. Meaning they have said too many hurting words and have not listened each…
Last Tuesday I went to ecstatic dance and Pete went to see a movie.Pete wanted to see this movie in a special event which is run by a guy who shows wanky movies and gives an introduction to the movie…
This is Pete. Tuulia usually writes these newsletters. Over the past few days, while Tuulia and I have huddled and cuddled here in our candlelit old farmhouse beside frozen Lake Koves in Finland, I’ve been thinking back on 2024 and what Tuulia and…
I confess that I have felt irritated reading people's accounts of the past year on Facebook.Many pictures.Friends, Family. Celebrations.Happy faces.Mountains, sea, beaches, scenery.People share about the key events, successes and happiness (and some struggles sometimes too) of the past year.And I grinch.Feel uneasy.Tightness in my…
As the year comes to a close Pete and I are enjoying more quiet time in Syvilla. We had our last workshop of the year in Amsterdam and celebrated Christmas first with our sons separately (I also had my mother and her partner…
Do you ever gossip?How do you feel when it happens?I was asked to share more about gossiping and its impact on us (ultimately negatively) and why we still do it.I define gossiping as saying something about someone to another person in a way…
Have you had bad Christmas experiences?Or do you remember Christmas or holidays as a happy time? Did you experience Christmas (or other family holidays) turning into something else than a cosy easy-going get-together?No happy family around a full dining table and a…
I just returned to our home SyVilla after a workshop tour in Copenhagen & Amsterdam!Pete and I had time to see friends, go to movies, visit two photo exhibitions and cycle in the city (Amsterdam) and walk plenty (Copenhagen).Last Thursday we…
Pete and I just led what I found to be a wonderful workshop here in Copenhagen.What has been alive in me again is the importance of learning a healthy way to express anger.We can express anger in a way that is connecting…
Many of us seem to be quite skillful in turning an amazing sex life into one that is run-of-the-mill if not outright unpleasant.Here are my favorite ways to ruin one’s sex life!1. Having sex only late in the evening, or…
I have been organizing Honest Date Nights in Finland for some years now and really enjoy them.I love people meeting others when being honest and real.(and by the way Pete and I talked in our first meeting about divorce and…
I received this question from our Practitioner Program participant:"What is the difference between controlling and relating?"That is a good question!And also another one related is coming up for me: how do I recognize in others and in myself ways to…
This is Pete. Tuulia usually writes these newsletters. Over the past few days, while Tuulia and I have huddled and cuddled here in our candlelit log cabin beside frozen Lake Vaavu in Finland, I’ve been thinking back on 2023 and…
Recently my anxiety lifted its head. Like a guest who has been long gone and somehow always around the corner.I was in Mallorca having a holiday with Pete after the 8-Day Intensive. We were walking around in the old town…
Anger can be as sexy as actual sex. It can create connection, intimacy and deep love and understanding. ❤️Explosive anger – I am talking about rage - can also break and hurt and create more distance and fear.Expressing anger can…
"I am a good cook"" I am good at sleeping. I really enjoy sleeping in and having lazy morning with my book, good coffee and Pete besides me" ❤️" I am a dedicated and loving partner. I listen to Pete,…
What do I really enjoy? What gives me joy?How do I take care of myself in stressful times? Am I allowed to take time off?Or feel exhausted?Even overwhelmed? These are questions I have been pondering for the last few days.…
This could be the most powerful five minutes of your life ❤️What I often propose to couples and families is to set up five minute sharing.Every day.Or at least four times a week.You might wonder: why is this so important?In…
Pete and I have been cleaning up and reorganizing things here in the cabins in Orivesi. Slowly changing our log cabins into family cabins instead of a retreat location.First I felt relief and now I'm starting to feel nostalgic too.I…
Regards from the little sweet village of Oberreute, in Bavaria close to the Austrian boarder! Pete and I are here training future Radical Honesty trainers and meeting with other owners of Radical Honesty Institute. Last week I shared about a few…
"I really like leading the Couples retreats, Family & Friends retreat and 8-Day Intensives", I shared with Anna, Bernie and Pete in our monthly catch up call."I also find the year-long Practitioner Program Pete and I created very rewarding. People…
Recently someone asked if they are free to leave the workshop room if they need a break. They said they would come back later to the session."No", is what I said.This is not how we work.I do not know what…
Do you allow yourself to be lazy?This is a question I am asking you and pondering it myself too.I am writing this on Tuesday.Pete, I and a bunch of other lovely people are here in Syvilla in Finland starting the…
Our workshops are not for everyone.I would rather be upfront and clear than try to make our workshops and retreats a fit for everyone.Our workshops and retreats are not for you if:1. You don’t want to tell the truth.2. You…
This journey started almost two years ago.I started to dream of a retreat center in Finland. ✨I am not sure what all contributed to that dream.For one I wanted to have more of a year-round home base and a place…
"Clear and firm boundaries and doing your own work!"This is what I answered when a friend recently interviewed me. The question was something like What are the key things a new coach or therapist (or a workshop leader – my…
I want to share with you what happened when I decided that I don't want to force myself to do things I don't want to do.I have not recorded any YouTube videos for the past two years until I did…
We often talk about and express anger quite a lot in Radical Honesty workshops.Pete and I do not think anger is more important than other emotions.The main reason for creating space for anger is that many of us never learned…
My plan was to explore the 12 kilometers long white sandy beach of Cofete in southern Fuerteventura. ☀️That was going to be my last and exciting day on the island.Pristine beach, turquoise waters.Me on the waves.And on the beach with…
SmilingLaughingCryingShoutingTogetherConnecting and taking spaceSharing openlyTaking time to get to know yourself even moreSunshineVolcanoes in the horizonSea on the other sideTurquoise water in the poolLittle lizardsHot seatsHot facesTelling truth even when scaredAsking for what you wantBeing willing to receive (hug, care,…
He fell asleep on the bus and missed his stop.The old man got off at a bus depot in the middle of nowhere.He felt lost. It was already dark.A sweet couple walking home from a theater show saw him and…
Summerly Paris...Parks, beautiful old buildings, people in flowery dresses and colorful outfits, terasses full of people with their latte or white wine. Ladies in high heels walking their little fancy dogs.Eiffel Tower.Seine with boats.Some people are lazing on the riverside.Notre…
With this poem by Wendy Cope I wish you a Happy Valentine's day! ❤️Or Happy Friends' Day as we call it in Finland.Today we are obliged to be romanticAnd think of yet another valentine.We know the rules and we are…
I got a message few days back that read:"I really enjoyed reading this email/newsletter… And, I also really enjoyed watching Love Boat and Hill Street Blues as a kid too (and Fantasy Island!)."Read the newsletter here in case you missed…
Last week I wrote about allowing yourself to feel sorry for yourself.I think that's important.Rather than pushing down unpleasant emotions allowing them to exist and even getting curious about them. (If you missed the newsletter you can still read it…
Do you sometimes feel just really low and shitty?Really sorry for yourself?I definitely do and I have people around me who do too.I don't have long lasting depression and I do feel down at times.It is like all seems grey.No…
How does love show up for you?What does love mean to you? ❤️This week I want to share with you this poem that I really like by the American poet E. E. Cummings.love is more thicker than forgetmore thinner than…
What themes and topics feel exciting for you right now?What thoughts and emotions come to you when you think of last year?What do you want to leave behind and what you want to keep with you?Over the past eight years,…
This is Pete. Tuulia usually writes these newsletters. Over the past few days, while Tuulia and I have huddled and cuddled here in our candlelit log cabin beside frozen Lake Vaavu in Finland, I’ve been thinking back on 2022 and…
