Last week I wrote about allowing yourself to feel sorry for yourself.I think that's important.Rather…
One of my main drivers for work and life in general is that I do things I like and feel excited about.
And as little as possible things I don’t like doing.
What does this mean to me?
It means that I will lead workshops and retreats as long as I enjoy doing that and feel I have something to offer (and as long as participants keep showing up to our workshops!). I also give myself freedom to drop workshop concepts I don’t want to do and try out new things – like the retreat for family and friends last summer.
The idea started with Pete and I wanting to offer a retreat for parents and adult children. We were both pretty excited about it – what about bringing your mom or dad (or child) along rather than talking about it. Doing work together and expressing all that needs to be expressed face to face with support.
Sign ups for that retreat did not fly quite as well as we were hoping. Many were too scared to join. I get that. Telling the truth and rocking the boat of old patterns and secrets can be very scary. For me one of the scariest and most powerful things I have done in my life was to have an honest conversation with my dad.
I am proud that we made the retreat happen anyway with a smaller group and by adding also other pairs to the retreat like friends. I felt joy witnessing children and parents being open with each other,
I am not giving up on doing what I enjoy and believe in: we will lead the Family & Friends retreat next summer too!
I remind myself of the journey of our couples work. Five years ago I started to dream about offering couples retreats. Pete was at first on the fence about it and then warmed up to it.
Four years ago we offered our first couples retreat in our cabins in Finland. That was a small group and the same for the following year. And we kept at it. Last summer the couples retreat was the first retreat sold out!
We got a request to offer online couples work and during the pandemic we offered five one day couples workshops online and all but one were full. And some very powerful work happened in those workshops.
I love working with couples, parents and their children, friends and other pairings. The beauty is that when you join with a friend, partner or family member you get the same tools and language and kick off to more open relating which you can continue when the retreat is over.
Going back to doing what I love and not doing things that I don’t like or don’t comes smoothly.
I don’t do some technical things around this work like formatting and sending this newsletter or adding subtitles on my YouTube videos or creating new pages on our website. I don’t enjoy learning new computer programs and I judge I’m not very good at that either.
I am also lucky for being able to pay for some services. And I think smart too – concentrating on things I am good at and getting better at them. I judge that it also brings in more money and better workshops than me, making myself frustrated with new programs.
For now I am also not offering any online workshops besides the free webinars. I got more than enough screen time working via Zoom during the pandemic (and still work with my individual clients in different parts of the world via video). I have also noticed I get more tired working via the screen than in real life. My body feels heavy.
However I am having some ideas for online formats and might want to try some (besides the Practitioner Program which will kick off again in January 2022)… Are you interested and what would you call me if I offer online groups or workshops?
Now I’m asking from you…
What do you do that you don’t want to do?
Have you started off really enjoying something and it has turned into a should for you?
What would happen if you stop doing what you don’t want to do?
P.S. If you are curious about the Honesty Europe Practitioner Program, check it out and message us for more information!
The Practitioner Program is an exciting one year journey concentrating on your personal work with other like minded honesty fans.
The program consists of five in-person workshops and monthly group calls with themes like unhealthy patterns, asking for what you want, shame and creating the life you want. And all participants are part of a peer group meeting online every week with exercises designed to fit the themes.