What themes and topics feel exciting for you right now?What thoughts and emotions come to…
In June, I wrote about Pete & I dreaming about purchasing the neighboring cabins here in Finland.
Pete had this dream first for a few years and I slowly warmed up to the idea. Eventually, though, I also got excited: how great would it be to have two more little cabins next to ours and some more shoreline.
I got excited even though I knew the cabins would require renovation and maintenance work from us in addition to all the regular maintenance we already do for our cabins. We are regularly cutting down trees, chopping firewood, composting all our organic and toilet waste, fixing roofs and doors, repairing window frames, replacing insulation around windows, etc.
So, this spring I called the owners of the property and asked if they were willing to sell us their land and unused cabins. This call set into motion a number of events resulting in the neighbors indeed placing their property for public sale for the first time since the 1960s (when my grandparents had expressed interest in purchasing the property). Pete and I decided to offer more than the asking price and in the discussions between the two of us, we raised the amount we were willing to offer several times. Ultimately—and unfortunately—the owners sold the property to someone else.
Disappointment. Sadness. Anger. Frustration. Defeat. Fear.
These were some of the emotions that arose in us in the ensuing days.
And then: Now what? This had been Pete’s dream for several years and had been mine, too, for a year. What’s the point of having dreams when they don’t come true? Is it better to not dream and thus avoid the process of disappointment, sadness, anger?
Then we noticed that another cabin was on sale on our lake. It is not next to us and not that far away either, about a 10-minute walk and a bit less by rowing boat. We got excited again. And decided to make an offer for it even though we were in Germany leading the 8-Day Intensive retreat and had not ever been inside the cabin.
So instead of having two cabins immediately next to ours, we now have another one a few hundred meters away. It’s a lovely place by the lake. A place for our retreat participants to stay also before and after our retreats, and for our family and friends to stay.
The first retreat participants have now slept in the new cabin. Pete’s son stayed there for a few weeks during his summer holiday. A few days ago, I picked many of the blueberries and mushrooms that are growing around the building.
In the meantime, another dream began to surface. This one: I want us to have our own retreat center where we can run retreats year-round. I want to buy an old school or other big building somewhere in the countryside of southern Finland. I fantasize that we would live there and run retreats, maybe even longer ones (month-long!) and maybe have a community living with us there, too.
I don’t know if this dream will come true or if it’s exactly what I want for our future. I have enjoyed playing with this fantasy and going on day trips to view potential buildings and properties for our home & retreat center.
While having these dreams, I have learned several things about myself and about Pete. One is that I very much enjoy the process of dreaming about and planning for the future, regardless of the outcome. I feel alive and full of possibilities when I dream. I’ve also realized that purchasing a fixer-upper is not for me. While I have a passion to lead Radical Honesty retreats and workshops, I’m not interested in taking on the task of repairing old buildings.
A third happy noticing for me – though not a new one – is that I judge I have a supportive partner in Pete. He is open to hear me dream aloud and he’s willing to dream along with me (and even sometimes adding doses of reality, too).
So I have a question for you:
What is your dream?
Do you dare to dream even if you don’t know whether your dream will ever materialize?
Do you think dreams need to be realistic? Or are we allowed to dream whatever we want and then see what happens?
I wish you a great week!
Tuulia (& Pete)
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