Freedom

“Freedom.” That was my immediate reply when, last week, the Finnish therapist and author Anja Snellman asked me on Finnish television what I thought was the most important aspect about honesty. I immediately replied: Though I was initially surprised by my answer, I realize I’ve gained a tremendous amount of freedom in my life by striving to be honest. These days, I feel much freer to make choices that take me out of my comfort zone.

For example, for years I had told myself that I needed to have a secure/permanent job. Having such a job somehow ensured me that I would manage, that I’d be OK in life. I had also told myself that I needed to have money in the bank so I could manage in cases of emergency. Then I went through a divorce (when my son was 9 years old) and I learned that job security and financial security mattered little during such a crisis. What helped me instead was accepting that I could feel sad/angry/fearful/lost/etc. while knowing none of those feelings would last forever. The love, support and presence I received from my friends and mother was also extremely helpful.

Today I’m grateful for having experienced being lost and oblivious. Little by little, I trusted that I would manage without the security of a job, money or a marriage. I felt freer and happier. I could follow my wishes and indulge my curiosity and things would be OK. They might not have been OK in the way I had imagined they would be—and yet they were OK anyway.

Right now, at this very moment, I feel free. I’m a mother, a partner, a friend and a businesswoman running my own workshop/coaching business. All of those aspects of my life include freedom. They are results of choices I made. When I’m making myself happy, sad, angry or excited I can talk about it, make decisions, take action and see where that takes me. I no longer need to know the exact destination; I can just enjoy the journey.