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Seven years and what have I learned (if anything)?

Seven years ago, I led my first workshop.

I still remember how confident and nervous I felt at the same time. I think I needed the (not so well-founded) confidence to actually pull it through and the nervousness to stay at least a little bit humble.

I was not humble seven years ago.

I am more humble now. And at the same time also pretty self-confident.

I was thinking how have I changed during these years as a trainer and a person.

And what have I learned, if anything?

What comes to me immediately is that now I am more humble and more attuned to smaller details and small changes in the body and tone of voice.

Why is that important though?

Noticing small details will give me many clues about what is going on with the person and within myself.

Like what is the quality of their anger, sadness, or joy?

Is it flowing or stuck? Does it feel victim-y? Or rather like owning whatever is there?

Does the sadness actually have a lot of anger in it? Or is the sadness related a past event part of the grieving of a happy childhood never had?

And: Is the body loose and tight? Does the tightness shift and change in intensity?

The other bigger thing is that I have learned to be a little slower ? even though I don’t think I will ever be a slow and thorough person. I am faster and enjoy innovating and trying out stuff.

And sometimes the best thing I can do is to sit with a person in silence and see what happens. Give time for those subtle or bigger shifts.

I think the biggest change is me trusting the process, trusting the slow, trusting myself.

I still get the thought “oh shit I am not sure how this situation will get to a better place”

and then my body relaxes.

It’s like “hey, we’ve been here before. Relax. Trust the process. Allow the shifts to happen naturally”.

In those moments I start to relax, slow down. Maybe quietly stay present with the person and the group.

Slowing down has been a big thing for me too. I don’t always or even most times need to support someone to go to the deepest and most difficult places. They’re already running fast towards the trigger pain or trauma (in most cases).

Even if the pace is slower they’re taking some important steps: feeling the body, being present, feeling feelings. That is already a lot.

Many times my job is to support you to slow down. I ask what happens in your body when you are diving fast into the stories or emotions. I ask what happens in your body right now. I might ask a few more questions about the sensation such as in how big an area you notice the tension or how intense the sensation is.

Sometimes I say “pause. Pause. PAUSE” to help to stop the fast autopilot and support you to notice more of your experience.

How do I know when to do that? For me the signs are if I start to feel tense in my body or my breathing gets shallow or heart beat increases, when I notice your tone of voice changing or pace getting faster. Or when I observe your body language and think you’re not much in touch with the sensations. Or when I just don’t understand what you’re actually talking about.

This brings me to think about you again.

Do you want to work with me and Pete and see what happens when you take the time to notice those small shifts? Do you want to give yourself a year of Radical Honesty practice?

Are ready to dive deeper with a group of other honesty fans?

Do you have a topic you are ready to really look at and work with?

Do you desire more ongoing honesty practice and a group of buddies around you?

? If you say yes to these questions Honesty Europe’s Practitioner Program might be for you.

It gives you a year to deep dive into different monthly themes such as

  • showing yourself
  • voice and pace (something I just talked about)
  • asking for what you want
  • shame
  • creating the life you want
  • and more

Take a look at the description and consider this: where do you want to be in a years’ time?

What would make a difference for your well-being and happiness?

What is the journey you want to embark on or continue?

Going back to the topic of my seven years… I would have never thought as a young person or even in my early 30’s that I would lead people to express themselves – even getting pretty loud – for living.

Here I am. I am 50 years old and when I wake up I like who I am.

I like who I am as a person and I like who I am as a professional.

In this video I talked about my journey becoming a Radical Honesty trainer:

And you might find this blog post interesting where I talk about my first workshop with Brad in Greece 2012:

What do you like today about your journey?

What have you learned in the past years?

Tuulia (& Pete)

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