Thanks for being part of our year!

7.1.2023
Community

This is Pete. Tuulia usually writes these newsletters. Over the past few days, while Tuulia and I have huddled and cuddled here in our candlelit log cabin beside frozen Lake Vaavu in Finland, I’ve been thinking back on 2022 and what Tuulia and I did this past year in terms of organizing and leading Radical Honesty events.

(I copy/pasted the above paragraph from what I wrote for each end-of-the-year newsletter since 2018. All the above information is again relevant with just the year being different…) ?
You’ll find the statistics of our Honesty Europe in-person workshops and retreats (that I make very important for these year-end reports!) at the end of this letter. (Initially, I didn’t think I would have much to say about 2022. Now after actually writing this letter, I see that I had plenty to say!)

Pandemic!

While 2022 seems like a year far removed from the Covid-related shutdown periods of 2020 & 2021, our year actually began with us moving a workshop scheduled for the first week of 2022 in Helsinki till later in the year due to the then-current restrictions on gatherings in that city.

So 2022 started out for us not unlike our experiences in 2020-21, with us unable to lead things in person and instead leading a few different events online (e.g. four-week courses, advanced coaching day, one-day couples workshop). I was happy that that period of the year passed within a few weeks and that we were then able to spend the rest of the year again leading in-person workshops and retreats. We still offer some online events (e.g. webinars) yet I’m glad that our online offerings are few as I still want to limit the amount of time I spend living my life online.

Notable Events of 2022

For the most part, our workshop calendar followed much of the pattern it’s had for the past few years. In the winter we led an 8-day Intensive on La Palma (for the third time on the Canary Islands) and in the autumn, one on Mallorca (for the fourth time). We led five retreats in Finland throughout the summer. And we led weekend workshops throughout the year.

After leading eight workshops in Austria over the years, we decided our workshops there in April 2022 spring would be our last in Austria for the time being since there are now so many RH Trainers and Trainer Candidates living there who are covering that turf. We decided to instead concentrate our efforts on places where RH has less of a presence. So, in 2022, we led two weekend workshops in Copenhagen. We plan to lead another one there in 2023 as well as one in Stockholm as we give focus to Denmark and Sweden for a while.

A highlight again for me in 2022 (as it had been in 2021) was the RH Friends & Family Retreat. Again, I was very moved seeing adult children and their parents doing their personal work together in this retreat and clearing things from their pasts and connecting more deeply. I found that very touching. (And I’m looking forward to the next one! 16-20 August in Finland)

Another highlight was our third Honesty Gathering retreat with more than 40 people attending. I still really love the concept of having concurrent workshop sessions led by various trainers that attendees can pick and choose from. This is another retreat that I’m excited about being on our annual calendar. (Next one: 13-17 September near Berlin)

Practitioner Program

For the fourth straight calendar year, in 2022 we again ran our Practitioner Program. I also continue to enjoy this program in which people work more closely with us over the course of the year, attending a number of workshops as well as participating in ongoing buddy groups and monthly themed calls. In 2022, we had more applicants than the we had space available for the 16 spots, which I liked. I’m looking forward to kicking off the 2023 program with a new group of practitioners next week!

Movie Nights ?️

I’ve been hosting monthly RH Film Evenings in Amsterdam for the past couple of years. In 2022, I judge the event really matured in a great way.

I love going to the cinema. Unlike my hometown of San Francisco (where I can name at least twenty cinemas where I saw films as a youth that no longer exist), Amsterdam is thriving as a cinema city. There are about 15 arthouse cinemas in the city and my €21 monthly pass gives me unlimited access to all their screenings. I especially love watching films that have themes related to the work we do in our workshops (e.g. characters making themselves miserable by not telling others what’s really going on for them and then finally sharing that).

While I tend to go to the cinema quite often (according to my film pass, I used it 65 times to see films in 2022), I tend to go by myself. For years, I had fantasized about renting an entire cinema and showing thought- and emotion-provoking films to others and then us sharing about what arose for us while watching it. So in 2021, I finally went ahead and started inviting groups of people to join me for such events.

For the 2021-22 film season, I booked our events at the Filmhuis Cavia cinema in Amsterdam. I liked us taking over an entire cinema (albeit a small one). One drawback, though, was that the rental cost €200 per time and I received on average about €100 in donations per screening. Thus I spent about €1000 of my own money to make my fantasy come true. For the 2022-23 film season, I moved the event to the Cinema van de Sterren, named after our host Sterre Mense. It’s a gathering space in his apartment building with a cinema-style seating and a large screen. The rent is €70, which is much more sustainable for my finances.

I love screening films that I imagine will trigger emotions, thoughts, memories and images in the viewer and then hearing from others about their experiences. And I like witnessing that so often their experiences are different than mine. We watch the same film yet each has their own unique experience. ?

I have now hosted 16 of these RH film evenings (which are only open to people who have attended at least one RH workshop). Typically, 15-20 people attend each time and 60 different people in total have attended at least once.

I really enjoy this event and I like thinking that I already have films planned for all of 2022’s screenings! (I’m now surprised by how many words I devoted to this event in this newsletter…) ?

Dance Parties! ?

A few days into the initial Covid lockdown in March 2020, I hosted an online dance party to celebrate Tuulia’s birthday. I and others enjoyed that so much that we did it again the following day. It went on to become a daily event for three weeks during that lockdown before eventually transitioning into a monthly event.

A few days ago, I hosted our 80th(!) online dance party on New Year’s Day. These dance parties are open to people who have joined at least one of our workshops. Exactly 200 people from our workshops have danced with us at least once (not including the partners, parents, friends, children, etc. who joined them in their own dancefloor). More stats: 75 people have joined five or more times and 25 people have joined twenty or more times. (Now I’m thinking that these figures sound too round to be believed…) I especially enjoy that after the dancing, we have a round of sharings and check-ins.

I really like this event. I never thought that I’d be DJ’ing music for other people to dance to or even be dancing alone together with others online would be something I enjoy. I seem to enjoy it so much that it’s one online event that I don’t dread attending, let alone leading.

Trainee Program

Our Trainee Program remained active throughout 2022. In May, Micha Küchler—who had worked assisted us in workshops for more than a year—and Kasia Mitschke—who had worked assisted us in workshops for a shorter period—were both certified as RH Trainers and are now off leading their own RH events. Tuulia and I are very happy for you, Micha & Kasia!

Currently in our Trainee program are Michi Weichselbaum and Christian Zehetner. We’re looking forward to working with you more in workshops in 2023, Michi & Christian!

I like how our Trainee Program has been functioning. I enjoy working with Trainer Candidates intensively for a year or so as they transition from being workshop participants to filling more the role of leading RH workshops.

Behind-the-Scenes Support

In the past couple of years, Chelsea Workman has been working behind the scenes for us, which lessened the burden of work that Tuulia and I had been doing (and the amount of conflict between me and Tuulia about me missing deadlines!). Having Chelsea doing this work for us has been wonderful. Now, though, she’s winding down her commitments with us. I’m making myself feel a little sad thinking about. I had enjoyed thinking that our company was in good hands with Chelsea. I already miss you working with us, Chelsea! (Now I wonder if she’ll even read this…)

Taking on some of the behind-the-scenes tasks is Sanni Lehto. I’m looking forward to working more with you, Sanni! (And I acknowledge I’ve already missed the deadline by when I said I would get the text of this newsletter to you, Sanni, for you to send out. Welcome to the team! ?)

Trainings

In 2022, Tuulia and I attended several trainings together. In January, we did a two-day Transformational Chairwork training (helping us to increase our skills in leading workshop participants in so-called hot seat work). In February, we did a two-day NARM training (helping us to increase our toolset when working with clients who have experienced trauma). And in August we did a two-day Anti-Racist Trauma Informed Care training (helping us to increase our awareness as white workshop facilitators of racial dynamics in groups and to support people of color in our workshops).

In addition, in December, Tuulia did a three-day Hakomi Mindful Somatic Psychotherapy training (to learn new somatic tools so she can support workshop participants and private clients from a relaxed curious place). In 2023, she will attend the year-long Comprehensive Hakomi Therapist Training. We discussed the two of us participating together in this or some other longer training. Ultimately, I decided not to join Tuulia in doing the comprehensive Hakomi training, as I would prefer to travel less and have more time for myself to do nothing.

Radical Honesty Institute

Tuulia and I are still two of the ten co-owners and Board members of the Radical Honesty Institute. I judge the transition from RH as an organization being essentially a one-man show for more than a quarter century to being a group-run body has gone well. I like being part of the group and, at times, I sometimes fantasize about no longer being on the Board (and having less responsibilities in my life). Tuulia seems to enjoy the Board work more than me. In general, she seems to enjoy having responsibilities more than I do.

Retreat Center! ?️

One year ago, in my previous year-end newsletter, I wrote: “I’m already making myself excited by thinking that one year from now, when I write a newsletter recapping Honesty Europe’s 2022, I will be reporting on this vision having become a reality!”

That vision was that Tuulia and I would purchase a retreat center. Just a few days after writing the above last January, we indeed purchased half of the Syvilla retreat center in the woods beside a lake fifteen kilometers outside of the town of Parkano, Finland.

The situation suited us very much. We didn’t have all the money yet to purchase the whole place and the current owner–Hannu Raitio–wasn’t fully ready yet to let go of it and retire. So we bought out Hannu’s partner’s half and during 2022-23, we’ll co-own the place with Hannu.

Since 2016, we have led 23 five-day residential retreats at Tuulia’s family’s cabins in the woods of Finland. While this place (where I’m now sitting) is indeed beautiful and has been a wonderful host to these events, it isn’t very sustainable for hosting as many events as we want to have. So, we’re quite excited with the idea of owning a place that someone else actually created to host groups (and has such luxuries as running water!). (Tuulia just asked me to add here that the luxuries at Syvilla also include things like a Jacuzzi…)

At the beginning of 2024, we’ll buy the other half of Syvilla from Hannu and run the place on our own and reside there. (I just paused after typing that. I still find hard to believe that we made / are making this happen…)

Book! ?

In 2022, I created an 80,000-word manuscript about the power of one talking to their parents and sharing what they have been withholding from telling them (e.g. expressing their anger, sadness, lies, etc. to their parents). And by doing so completing a lot of the unfinished emotional business in one’s life and connecting with their parents more deeply. Much of the manuscript consists of inspirational success stories from fifty participants from our workshops. Hopefully, when I write the year-end newsletter for 2023, I will be reflecting on my happiness of this manuscript having been turned into a physical book available for your reading pleasure!

So, that’s the end of the year report for 2022 for Honesty Europe.

Happy New Year! ?
I hope to see and/or hear from you in 2023! ?

Love and hugs,
Pete (& Tuulia)

www.HonestyEurope.com
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Statistics! (Personally, my favorite part of the year-end newsletters!)

Number of in-person, multi-day Honesty Europe workshops per year

2015: 1
2016: 11
2017: 18
2018: 21
2019: 19
2020: 17
2021: 17
2022: 22

Number of those that Tuulia & Pete led together per year

2018: 15
2019: 15
2020: 15
2021: 13
2022: 16

Tuulia-only workshops per year

2018: Three in Finnish, two with Jakob, one with Taber
2019: Two in Finnish, one with Anna, one with Seán
2020: One in Finnish, one with Bernie
2021: Three in Finnish, one with Bernie
2022: Two in Finnish, one with Micha, one with Kasia (when Pete had Covid), one with Michi

Types of workshops per year

2015: 1 weekend workshop
2016: 10 weekend workshops, 1 retreat
2017: 12 weekend workshops, 6 retreats
2018: 10 weekend workshops, 8 retreats, 3 8-day Intensives
2019: 10 weekend workshops, 7 retreats, 2 8-day Intensives
2020: 8 weekend workshops, 6 retreats, 3 8-day Intensives
2021: 7 weekend workshops, 7 retreats, 3 8-day Intensives
2022: 12 weekend workshops, 7 retreats, 3 8-day Intensives

Number of countries per year

2015: 1 country (Netherlands)
2016: 5 countries (Finland, Netherlands, Germany, U.K., Denmark)
2017: 8 countries (Finland, Netherlands, Germany, Austria, U.K., Switzerland, Greece, Lithuania)
2018: 8 countries (Finland, Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Spain, Greece, U.K., Italy)
2019: 7 countries (Finland, Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Spain, Greece, Switzerland)
2020: 5 countries (Finland, Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Spain)
2021: 6 countries (Finland, Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Spain, Switzerland)
2022: 6 countries (Finland, Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Spain, Denmark)

Number of fully-booked per year

2018: 13 / 21
2019: 12 / 19
2020: 7 / 17
2021: 12 / 17
2022: 7 / 22

Number of people attended / number of spots available / percentage of filled spots

2018: 300 / 322 / 93.2%
2019: 277 / 300 / 92.3%
2020: 242 / 267 / 90.6%
2021: 245 / 272 / 90.0%
2022: 320 / 369 / 86.7%

Female-to-male ratio per 100 participants (noting, of course, that not all of our workshop participants identify as either of these genders)

2018: 58:42
2019: 55:45
2020: 63:37
2021: 59:41
2022: 55:45

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