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Winter retreat in the Netherlands 30.11.-3.12!

Two years and no videos

I want to share with you what happened when I decided that I don’t want to force myself to do things I don’t want to do.

I have not recorded any YouTube videos for the past two years until I did one a few weeks back and one in Lanzarote too.

I turned something I really enjoyed into a should, into a work.

At first I did not prepare much: I recorded a video about a topic I felt a calling to talk about. Most times I liked what I said.

I found myself to be real.

I was not looking at the camera. I made an improvement: looking into the camera.
To me that seemed more personal and approachable.

I also got a tripod and microphone. For a while I enjoyed an improved quality of my videos.

I started to make more effort to have good lighting and a variety of backgrounds.

I started to prepare my videos. I made bullet points of what I want to say.
Some time after that I started to do research of each topic I want to talk about and I started to include some points of research or authorities in the field.

Shooting a video started to become a longer event. From taking maybe 10-15 minutes one video started to take an hour or more to make.

That felt like work. Heavy.

The joy and lightness and fun of speaking was gone.
I started to dread making videos.

I had my tripod and microphone with me in Amsterdam, in the cabins and other journeys – and more and more seldom I recorded anything,

In the meantime we started to get more subscribers to our Youtube channel Honesty Europe. By then we had almost 100 different videos available.

I decided to stop recording videos.
Even they were a good way to get a word out about us.

It did not seem worth the hassle.
I had stopped following my general principle to do mainly what I enjoy doing and doing very little what I don’t like doing.

I decided that I will record a video when I feel like it. When it is calling me. When I notice joy thinking about taking in front if a camera.
I am glad of this break. When I felt like recording a video I did not force myself.
I did feel a bit rusty and out of words.

I think the video was less smooth than many other videos I have recorded.
And I was real.

Most likely I will keep talking in front of a camera and posting videos.
And I will only do it when I feel like it.

I want to operate from a want rather than a must.
I think most of us have far many “musts”  and “shoulds” in our lives.

I am not interested in adding more to mine. 
I want to stay awake and alert not to turn my wishes and fun stuff into shoulds.
And I want the same for you. ❤️


PS: The 8-Day Intensive in Parkano in 16-24 May has three more spots!
And the 8-Day Intensive in Mallorca 1-9 October has eight more spots!

Note also newly announced 8-Day Intensive in Tenerife in March 2024!
This is our first time in Northern Tenerife in a lovely traditional Canarian finca with mountain views and walking tracks starting from our backyard.

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