This is Pete. Tuulia usually writes these newsletters. Over the past few days, while Tuulia…
What really happens in our workshops?
| I was asked the other day if people actually know and understand what happens in the workshop when they sign up. Good question! I don’t know. What I do know is that I find it not so easy to put in words what happens when we make a bunch of agreements (such as confidentiality and telling the truth) and sit in the circle and talk about ourselves. And not just any talk but being real and present in the moment. Sharing something that feels vulnerable or personal. Last Sunday I led a Community Day in Helsinki and one of the first-timer participants said that she thought she didn’t have any expectations and still she notices that the day was totally different than she thought and I was totally different than she thought. ? I find that interesting! I think what happens in Radical Honesty events Pete and I lead is that we go quite personal and quite deep, and that surprises many first timers. Having an agreed context – some call it container – helps to create a trusted and many times quite safe environment to open up. I use the word safe as many people use it. Also in the Community Day someone asked about that. Something like “will I feel safe?” I said I don’t know. I can’t guarantee that, we all create safety within ourselves and feel safe and unsafe in very different circumstances depending on our history. And I do think that having agreements and all sharing something vulnerable and us workshop leaders inviting all emotions does help to feel safe. Yet, someone does not feel safe in any way. That’s okay. We humans are dynamic and in the next moment people might feel safe when they notice Pete and I are okay with them stating that they feel unsafe. I don’t jump to fix it or work over time to prove I’m a safe person. We welcome those feelings of unsafety, fear or doubt, and statements related to express. And also we know how dynamic all emotions are when they have space to just be there without fixing. So I talked about vulnerability, sharing something personal and feeling safe. What factually happens is listening and talking about me in the circle (as much as possible in the “I” language rather than “you” language). Then we do group exercises, paired exercises or small group exercises. These exercises highlight different aspects of Radical Honesty. Such as: noticing how much we all lie / pretendseparating noticing and imaginingasking for what we wantsharing about ourselves in different ways asking questions we are truly interested in and exploring our “shoulds” and “should nots” meaning the rules we make for ourselves. After each exercise we have time to share with our partner and the group what came up for us. There is also space to express anything that feels important and alive in the moment such as: shameembarrassmentjoyattractionsadnessanger and appreciation to name some. If there is anger or a conflict between two people we give them space to express, listen and allow things to move in the body until they are complete enough with each other. Some time back we made this video about what happens in Honesty Europe’s workshops! Participants and Pete & I talk about our experiences in the video.You might find it useful ? And I have also recorded a video about: What happens when you start practicing Radical Honesty? Did you know what to expect when/if you have joined a workshop? Did you get a good enough idea from the description of what happens in the workshop / retreat? What has been best and worst in your workshop experience? How do you keep yourself back if you haven’t joined a workshop and feel a calling to join? If it’s fear, what is the biggest fear you have? How likely is that scenario to happen that you created in your head? Regards from Overijjsel in the Netherlands where started yesterday our annual winter retreat in the Netherlands! Love, Tuulia (& Pete) P.S. I might have totally missed vital points! Will you tell me? P.P.S. Consider starting the New Year with honesty! ? The first workshop of the year will be for Advanced Practitioners: Join the Advanced Weekend Workshop in Helsinki, 6-8 January 2023, in English. |
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