You are perfect as you are

I have been tired lately.

11 days ago we finished Radical Honesty Trainer’s Training in Winterberg, Germany and I have been feeling tired ever since. 

My father’s funeral also took place last week adding to the emotional intensity and stress. I have been turning inwards with my sadness and coming to terms with the fact that my father is no longer alive.

I want to write about grief and letting go at some point and the time is not yet here.

I am normally a high energy person. I tend to be active and get lots done.

And right now I am a bit slower and a bit more quiet. 

I am also just very tired.

Then I wonder: what if it is okay that I am tired?

What if slowness is just fine?

What if you are perfect as you are?

What if there is nothing you should or shouldn’t be?

Many self-development programs set “change” as a goal: the new and improved you.

I’m proposing the possibility that you’re already perfect as you are. 

And I’m perfect as I am – slow, tired, quiet.

And also: active, energetic and hectic.
Anxious.

None of us need to be any different than what we are.

Radical Honesty is a lot about owning and accepting who you are moment to moment and being honest about the qualities we like about ourselves and being honest about the qualities we judge ourselves for.

I think a great power exists in me expressing out loud my anger, jealousy, sadness, fear, tiredness, embarrassment or a desire to control others. These things are part of me and they are not me.

The more I own the “unpleasant” side of myself, the shadow side, the less those qualities define who I am.

So, I’m inviting you to consider the possibility that to be happier you don’t need to be any different. 

And every moment you share something vulnerable about yourself with others you will feel more love and appreciation towards yourself. And, most likely, others will love you more.

By showing your vulnerability, you give a gift to others and to yourself. And by doing so, you also make an invitation to the people around you to follow the path of honesty and see how we don’t lose by showing ourselves – we actually all win. 

Somewhat related is this video I made answering the question: How to stop wanting to be liked by everyone?

Love,
Tuulia (& Pete)