Menopause!

Few months ago I hit menopause more intensely.
First I thought the hot flashes were not too bad.
Heat in my body coming and going.

Then it got more intense.
I started to wake up towards the morning for many waves of heat, taking the duvet out and then feeling cold again.

And repeat.
Again and again.
Too hot, too cold.

I started to feel heat flashes on my face more during the day.
Getting sweaty.
Feeling unpleasant with the heat and sweat turning into cold sweat.

I was worried how I would manage to sleep well during the 8-Day Intensive in La Palma with the heat waves and sleeping issues.
Luckily I felt pretty fine and slept quite well.

I went to the doctors and also got prescribed mild hormone replacement treatment to deal with the hot flashes.

I have not started the treatment yet, I still want to see how everything develops naturally in my body.
I do not have anything against hormone replacement and I do want to take it when it feels necessary.

Then about three weeks ago the hot flashes stopped.
Ok, curious…
I think they might come back and I am not experiencing them right now.

In a way all these changes do draw attention to my body and my wellbeing.
So not all bad.
And they also bring up a lot of appreciation for how well my body has served me.
I am seldom sick.
I do not have any long term illnesses or conditions. I do feel the aging in my body.
Both of my knees are at times sore.

I don’t like that far more often I get my muscles sore: when I do physical work in Syvilla like cutting or piling wood or carrying logs or heavy loads.
Exercising also gives me far easier sore muscles.

So why do I write about all this?
It’s just part of life, right.
We all get older, moment by moment.

I want to show up with all of me, with all that is alive.
That part of telling the truth, right now it would be fake if I wrote to you about sunshine and happiness when something else might be more present for me.

I don’t want to hide my age, or the signs of aging.
Or the fact that my body does feel different now than 20 years ago.

Interestingly, I have noticed some facilitators are offering retreats for menopausal women.
I think it is a great idea.

I might join one. One day I might even lead one – not in the near future though.
I tend to get a lot out of retreats I join and already look forward to the next Couples tantra retreat I am joining with Pete in May.

In March I wrote about how I feel about aging when I was turning 53.
How aware I am of the limit of time.

Today I wanted to write about the other aspects of aging: my body and how I feel about the changes.

Le me ask you:

How is aging for you?
How has your body changed in the past years?
How do you feel about the changes in your body?

How do you feel about your age?
Do you judge yourself to be “too young” or “too old”?

Whatever your answer is, I propose you do not wait too long to do what you want today!

Love,
Tuulia (& Pete) ❤️