Oh my god – turning 53!!

I just returned back to the forest and Syvilla after great time in La Palma with the 8-Day Intensive and hiking too followed by sunny days in Amsterdam and a wonderful weekend workshop.

I have written a few times about aging during the years I have been sending these newsletters.

It is and is not a topic for me.

What is alive in me is the awareness of the limit to my time on earth.
I am very likely well over half of my years.

I am turning 53 next week.

I like my age.
I feel far more at ease with myself, my shortcomings, my struggles, my greatness.
I am more ok to be proud of myself and more at ease to admit when I messed up or were defensive.
(and sometimes that is still hard!)

And I like my body.
It is healthy and has treated me well.

I have more weight than I would like to and I am also happy most days how much I move and use my body.

I am definitely thinking about aging and especially how time is limited.

One thing has become apparent to me.

I do not want to waste my time.
I am more and more aware that eventually I might not have time, energy or health to do everything.

I want to push less things into the future and make them happen soon.
Today, this week, this summer, this year or at least next year. ⌛

I have traveled quite a lot and still many of my wants right now are around travelling and experiencing.

I want to go to Africa to see big animals again.
I want to take some time off.
I want to go on an interrail trip with Pete and visit friends around Europe, go to nice little towns and hike in Austria or Switzerland (or Italy &/ Greece!). ⛰️
I want to go to hill top villages in Italy and eat good local food.

I do not want to live a life of “only if xyz then I would do what I want”.
Nor do I want to live fulfilling other people’s expectations.
I did live too long trying to fulfill my now dead father’s expectations.
Talking straight with him aka having a completion talk helped me to shake that off and worry less about his judgments and his fears which are not mine.

I do not want either “a life of shoulds and musts”.
I have done enough of that!
I want to live a life of want, excitement and desire.

I want to feel alive in the way that feels good and right for me regardless of what other people think or what is considered the appropriate way.

I also want to pass on an example to my son and Pete’s son that we can live to the fullest also at the middle aged and beyond.

Let me ask you:
Do you think about aging?
How do you feel about aging?

What memories do you have about your aging parents?
Is there something you would do differently than your parents?

What have you learned from your surroundings about middle age and old age?

What do you want to do or achieve before you die?

Love,
Tuulia (& Pete) ❤️

PS: In the 8-Day Intensive you can explore the purpose of your life.
I really love that!

Our theory is that when we complete whatever is emotionally incomplete in our lives we have more space to live in the here and now and ongoingly create and live the life we want.
For me that is so inspiring!
Hopefully for you too.

The next 8-Day Intensive takes place in our retreat center sweet Syvilla 4-12 June