Right and wrong aren’t that important!

Pete and I just led what I found to be a wonderful workshop here in Copenhagen.

What has been alive in me again is the importance of learning a healthy way to express anger.
We can express anger in a way that is connecting and owning our part.

Even when we are angry we can own our emotions – “I make myself angry”.
I am the creator of this feeling.

You do not make me angry (or sad, disappointed, shameful, joyful, excited).
I create those emotions in me in connection to you.

What I like about direct expression of anger is that it is clean.
No hiding, no collecting a sin list against the other.
Not acting passive-aggressive.

Actually showing myself to the other.

Kind of saying “I did not like this. And I want to get over it“. (And me not liking what you said / did does not mean you are a bad person nor that I do not like you”).

For me, anger exists to protect us, to tell us “danger, be careful,” to express “I didn’t like that.”
I might not like what my son, my mother or my husband does or says – and that is no one’s fault.

Anger isn’t about right and wrong.

“Wow, how liberating!” I think.
(hopefully you think something similar!)

Right and wrong aren’t really that important.

What’s important is how I feel and how you feel and us sharing that aloud and staying present with each other, going through those (loud, intense) moments together until we get to a better place of forgiveness and even love.

Also it is useful to know that expressing anger can release feel good hormones such as endorphins and dopamine (it can also be addictive! One can get addicted to endorphins released when angry or having other high tensity emotions).
I love talking about anger.
I love expressing my anger!
(In order to show myself, get over it and feel connected)

What about you – what does anger mean to you?

Well, I don’t always love expressing it in the moment and I do love how I feel afterwards.

You might like this video about anger and getting over it 

Let me ask you: When did you last express your anger?
Or didn’t express it, even though you felt it?

To whom are you angry at and haven’t got over it yet?
What are you going to do about it?

With whom you were able to get over your anger and feel more connected?

One thing to consider:
What to do with all that space released when we are not holding on to anger and

One option (my favorite): use that to create!
To create connection, freedom and happiness in the here & now!
And to create the life you want. ✨

Love from one of our favorite workshop cities,
Tuulia (& Pete) ❤️