The power of NO

Are you good at saying “no”?

Do you feel guilty when you say no to someone?

Or are you one of those (few) people who find “no” far easier than yes?

I think “no” is a very powerful – and important word.
Many of us are scared to use it.
You have been maybe brought up to be nice and “easy” thus yes comes automatically.

Straightforwardness is often seen as rudeness or not caring.
For me someone being straight and clear is a welcome.

“I do not need to second guess”.
What a relief.

I do not see “no” as a bad thing, selffish or rude.
I see someone saying “no” as a person who has some boundaries.
And someone who is willing to show their preferences rather than me trying to guess if “yes” is really a yes.

I also want to celebrate my no.
I want to be able to check what is true for me before going into pleasing mode.

I do remember being called sometimes selfish in my childhood home and grindage to that memory.
(and at that time I was definitely not that good with my no yet).

So how to recognize our “no”?
One key point is to slow down.

When you slow down you start to notice more.
More of your sensations, thoughts and emotions.

Taking time to answer can be uncomfortable.
Especially if you are used to being “easy going”, everything goes like a nice person.

And I would say it is worth the discomfort.
Tapping more into what is really true for you might require practice.
You might need to say “I am not sure. I want to take more time to really check in with myself”.

Taking time is totally fine.
I judge we are already too fast in this hectic world.

Pete and are just back in Amsterdam after wonderful time in La Palma in the 8-Day Intensive and enjoying holidays too.

In the 8-Day everyone got lots of exercise on saying yes and no, and slowing down and noticing how that feels in the body.

Let me ask you:
What comes up for you when you think about your “no”?

Is it easy for you to recognize what you want and do not want?
Do you sometimes say “yes” when you actually feel “no”?

Come to practise your “no” in the Summer retreat 25-29 June!

The 9th annual Honesty Europe Summer takes place in our lovely retreat center Syvilla in the woods of Finland by a lake.
In this retreat you can definitely work on your no and yes – and on the art of asking for what you want!

June is one of the best times to be in Finland: warm yet not super hot, lake is great for swimming, rowing boats, canoe and sup boards wait for you and the wood burning sauna is heated every night. Our garden is blooming with flowers, the birds are busy singing and mating and there are tons of different shades of green everywhere.

Love,
Tuulia (& Pete) ❤️