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When dancing was a symbolic act

Last Tuesday I went to ecstatic dance and Pete went to see a movie.

Pete wanted to see this movie in a special event which is run by a guy who shows wanky movies and gives an introduction to the movie too. 

I did not feel like going to see a movie. I wanted to move my body and saw the ecstatic dance was happening and felt excitement in my body.

So I decided to go dancing.

After having our last call of the Practitioner Program I jumped into my bike and cycled to ecstatic dance in a warehouse area (and I admit: I am still bad at navigating my way in Amsterdam and I did get a little lost at first).
Pete took his bike to the movie screening.

Why am I telling you this?
(besides sharing random facts about our lives)

Well, I call myself a recovering people pleaser.
Codependent.

In my romantic relationships I have made a lot of importance on what my partner wants or even second guessing what he might want.

I made most times what the other person wants more important than what I want.
I feel a little sad admitting that.

That was often quite automatic.
I was not even aware I did that.
I did not even notice I missed checking in what I wanted.

My journey started by recognizing what I want, slowing down, making what I want important and starting to own and voice it.

I have been amazed how powerful asking for what I want is.
And how often I got a yes from my partner and others.

Nowadays I am an advocate for voicing wants.
A desire activist you could call it (desires being any wants that any of us might have).

Another part of the journey for me has been to slow down and check in with myself when I get requests. Is this really a yes for me or is it a no.
Or do I just want more time to find out what is a true answer for me.

What feels the most authentic in my body.
When my system is the most at ease.

And I have great news for you!
To practice more noticing what you want and voicing it we have the one year Practitioner Program starting on 4th February!

This is a great way to get into the practice of checking in what you want and to allow your buddies to support you in that.
Message me to learn more about the Practitioner Program!

In our last call one practitioner mentioned how they allowed themselves to be receiving and having the focus on them. Even asking the other buddies to stay longer in a call to hear their topic.
I celebrate that.

I felt warm.

I recognized the ease in keeping the focus on the other (like this Practitioner reported to be their habit) and how it can be scary and vulnerable to have focus on yourself and voice what you want.

Time for you to reflect!

Have you been automatically pleasing?
Are you good at checking what feels like ”a yes” in your body and what is definitely or mostly likely ”a no”?

Do you allow yourself to take time before answering someone’s request?

Love,
Tuulia (& Pete) ❤️

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